[A] man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal), he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).
In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important.
Hunter S. Thompson, aged 22, to friend Hume Logan
This raises a great point about being goal-oriented. Choosing a goal and striving towards it is something that few people actively choose, but those who do find themselves focused so much on actually achieving the goal that they miss out on making sure they enjoy the pursuit.
This happens a lot in school and education. Schoolchildren and young adults are encouraged to work hard and get into the college prep academy, get into an elite university, land that cushy job, make sure they become an executive.
“It doesn’t matter if you have to sacrifice time now — it will pay off in the future!”
They defer experience.
They let their teenaged years go by, get into that school, and then defer their young adulthood.
They land that cushy job and talk themselves into working 80 hours per week.
“It will get better! I just need to put in the time now!”
For some, this is a great path. It leads to fulfillment and success on personal and societal measures.
For others (more than we’d like to think), this is just deferring the enjoyment to be gleaned from their lives. They slowly begin to realize this and the realization manifests itself as a quarter-life or mid-life crisis. They’ve caught themselves so focused on the goals (which themselves are ever-changing) that they’ve forgotten to enjoy the pursuit.
It doesn’t have to come in a huge revelation, either. Goal-oriented people and productivity-hackers can fall into the same problem.
At “Encouragement From a Stranger,” a blog devoted to helping people set goals and achieve them, the author writes:
It’s okay to have goals. But goals become a problem when they become a substitute for achieving happiness. They become a problem when we tie them to specific expectations about how we’ll feel when we finally “achieve” them. This is where I’ve fallen down.
…
All of this really comes back to the well-worn cliche: live in the present.
If we’re constantly expecting that the goal(s) we’re aiming for will lead somewhere better than where we are now, we’re in trouble. It’s great to have ambition and an overall direction. But I feel, more than ever, that we need to be flexible and adaptable throughout the journey. Change is about the only thing we can really expect in life.
As much as it is a cliche, living in the present can help us achieve optimal experience and get to our goals. If we devote ourselves to action and to always be moving forward in our lives, but don’t find ourselves too set on what we expect to feel upon achieving our goals, we can find a happy medium between hedonistic-present-living and detached-future-living.
We don’t have to give up our goals.
We don’t have to give up our lives.
We can have both.