There are entire bookstores devoted to selling literature about “finding your purpose,” creating a “purpose-driven life,” “finding your passion,” and other platitudes of the schmaltzy self-help genre. Usually, these boil down to “focus on what you really want to live for and just go after that and everything else will follow!” They place a huge emphasis on changing your mindset to one that is devoted to a larger goal than just getting past your next paycheck or the next big struggle.
Lots of these books have nuggets of gold among a sea of schmaltz. Their issue is that they are either too caught in abstracts or too in the weeds. They focus too much on a life-changing shift of mindset that is too hard for people to maintain over time without a clear set of practices to help them achieve it, or too much on an issue-by-issue basis where people are stuck trying to weave and create a meaning or purpose from things like “make your bed every morning,” to “smile when you wake up.”
One of the only authors on self-help whose work I have found consistently insightful and actionable is Nathaniel Branden. Branden (d. 2014), a psychotherapist by training, focuses on a deep respect for and honoring of the self by the individual, taking responsibility over one’s life, and turning this into an active practice. His books cover everything from self-esteem to the psychology of love, and all emphasize an importance of understanding what values one operates on and how to manifest those in the world around you.
His Six Pillars of Self-Esteem is probably the height of his works. He outlines six tangible practices that each individual must consistently act upon in order to build a respect for the self and a sense of responsibility that is conducive to creating a happy life.
The pillars are:
The practice of living consciously.
The practice of self-acceptance.
The practice of self-responsibility.
The practice of self-assertiveness.
The practice of living purposefully.
The practice of personal integrity.
When practiced (as the names imply), the individual creates a happy mindset for himself — one that is largely independent of highs and lows brought on by fortunate and unfortunate events.
Check out the short video below for a quick overview of the pillars. I recommend picking up Branden’s book and checking out his site if you have even a cursory interest in the idea of living with purpose. If you have a low tolerance for bullshit (as I do), you’ll find his work refreshing.